Moses*

Meet Moses: the one-man (okay, one-woman) show who believes love should be exclusive, like a Netflix password. This sweet, slightly dramatic little hunk has been through a lot in his short life, so he’s very picky about who makes the cut for his inner circle. Spoiler: he’s almost always a “ladies’ dog.”

Moses is not aggressive — his strategy when nervous is to bark, growl, or avoid like a teenager forced to attend a family reunion. He’s especially skeptical of men, but once he finds his person, he glues himself to them like Velcro. In fact, you’ll never go to the bathroom alone again. Congratulations! You’ve just earned yourself a personal shadow.

He’s a kennel pro (aka his safe little man cave), completely housebroken, doesn’t chew the wrong stuff, and eats like it’s his part-time job. When dinner rolls around, he’ll treat you to his famous “crazy dinner dance” — part in...