He is an 11-year-old hairless pitbull mix (yes, we know, exotic). Beans isn’t looking for a family to adopt him; he is looking for a family to claim absolute ownership over.
If you’ve always wanted a pet that resembles the Crypt Keeper’s guard dog, your hyper-specific dream has finally come true.
The Daily Schedule (According to Beans)
The 2-Hour Dinner Warning: Every single day, exactly two hours before dinner time, Beans will initiate eye contact. He will not break it. He will then begin deploying his signature "smoker's bark" a sound that heavily implies he’s been puffing through two packs a day since 1996. The Midnight Hydration Audit: If you dare to let his water bowl drop below 100% capacity, you will wake up to Beans standing directly over your sleeping body, staring into your soul, and breathing hot, humid air onto your face. The Wardrobe...